9/11

It is difficult to believe that it has been 7 years already and yet it is amazing how well I can vividly recall so many factors about that day in such detail...not thinking much of hearing about the first plane other than it being a tragic accident, learning about the plane that was hijacked right above me in downtown Cleveland as I stressed out about work and deadlines and then practically having to be escorted out of the building when we were told to evacuate because I wanted to stay in the quiet empty office to "get the job done" and then getting home and turning on the tv and coming to the slow realization of what was actually unfolding before us. Trying to make sure all my family was safe and secure in their homes, and the phone lines being completely tied up. And then the feeling of watching the first tower fall....and then the second. The looks on the peoples faces... How quiet it was with no planes overhead; and then walking up the hill to work and seeing my first plane in the sky again and just stopping and staring in awe, as if I'd never seen a plane before and the stranger stopped beside me doing the same thing and then the two of us looking at each other for reassurance that it was ok to see a plane in the sky.

I am sorry to admit that I have again been so busy with work deadlines, that it wasn't until I actually really looked at my calendar this morning that I honestly realized that TODAY was/is 9/11. But I have not forgotten the feeling of how proud I felt to be an American in those following days, and the immense love, appreciation and admiration that I felt and will always feel towards all the families who lost loved ones, to the men and women digging through the rubble, to all the policemen and firemen, and to the men and women serving for us here and overseas. To all the people on that day, and every day before then and every day since...the words of "Thank You" just do not seem to be good enough, but for lack of better words - Thank You, for having that special something to put your life on the lines for me, for us everyday of your lives!

http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php

Happy September!

September is upon us, and I've just realized that it's been over two weeks since my last update.

8/23, Saturday - training session with Steve, he made me face my fear of treadmill running head on and I go in 30 minutes walking and running, with the focus on getting me to feel comfortable on it and not focusing on distance....yet. This was followed by being stretched out, which was fabulous!

8/24, Sunday - woke up frustrated with some back pain, skipped the gym since I knew I was heading to the Lorain County fair with my Mom, sister and bro-in-law. Walked at the fair for 4 hours.

8/25, Monday - lots of stretching and ab work, walked on the track. Chickened out of using treadmill and headed to Cahoon Park for a run. Spinal block on right side, didn't hurt near as bad as first round of shots.

8/26, Tuesday - training session with Steve, back felt a little achy at injection sites but overall felt great, did lots of leg work today.

8/27, Wednesday - lots of stretching then hit the treadmill for 40 minutes; got in just over 3 miles in warm up, run and cool down.

8/28, Thursday - stretching and abs, didn't feel well headed home after 1/2 an hour and went back to bed for about an hour before heading to work.

8/29, Friday (would have been brother John's 58th b-day) - skipped work out, had chiro appt -- still recommend everyone go at least once. Brad Paisley concert at Blossom, great concert and only got hit with about 10 minutes of rain!

8/30, Saturday - training session with Steve, lots of stretching and upper body work, back bothered me at very end of session.

8/31, Sunday - skip gym, Geauga County fair with my Mom...walked for about 3 hours was really really really bad and had a deep-friend twinkie with strawberries on top (heaven), hadn't had one in about 6 years, it was worth the wait!

9/01, Monday - skipped gym, went into work for about 3+ hours (yes i went into work on Labor Day, that is just wrong!), had my Mom over for a cook-out and grilled lots of veggies on the grill (mmmmmm...)

9/02, Tuesday - skipped gym again, three days in a row in NOT good but had a nice chat with trainer Steve in the morning. Busy at work right now and a little stressed, worked late.

9/03, Wednesday - friend G's bday!! - training session with Steve, back has been bothersome (think it's work stress related) did lots to loosen up back. chiro appt before work. Left work on-time and went out to dinner with G for his bday, Red Lobster all you eat shrimp...that is just wrong, good, but wrong.

9/04, Thursday - treadmill at gym for about 43 minutes, hips were extremely tight so followed up with lots of stretching. Worked late again.

9/05, Friday (brother Dale's bday) - training session with Steve, upper body work. Just was not in a good place today mentally, struggled with everything all day. Work was a pain, and ended up staying late....again.

9/06, Saturday - skipped gym, left early to head down to the OSU vs. OU game! Go Bucks!!

9/07, Sunday - skipped gym, headed to the Fairport Harbor Perchfest with my Mom, got in maybe about an hours worth of walking. Watched the dismal Browns game...but being optimistic that SOMEHOW they'll pull it together for next weeks game against the Steelers.

9/08, Monday - have final spinal block session (left side today) at 9am so headed to the gym to get in a good run in case I have to skip tomorrow; got on the treadmill for 62 minutes and felt awesome!, about 13 minutes was spent walking between warm up, cool down, and once for water. Spent lots of time stretching, working calves and abs ended up at the gym for over 2 hours...what a great start to the morning! Final spinal block session went ok, in some discomfort this evening but will hopefully subside by morning and I'll be able to head back to the gym for another run!

Long Slow Week

Not really much going on since the 5k last Sunday:

Monday - had some back issues so avoided the gym and running.

Tuesday - still having back issues, but walked about 3 miles before work.

Wednesday - worked out with Steve (my trainer) and focused A LOT on legs (still feeling it some, two days later!).

Thursday - had intentions on running. Was supposed to meet up with Steve, but his knee was acting up, so headed out alone to the park we run at but only one car was at the park and i just didn't have a good feeling -- had a minor incident running there before that had freaked me out a little but I hadn't been alone that time -- so anyhow, i turned the car around and headed to the gym and focused on stretching and then did lots of abs!, followed by more stretching and some walking.

Friday - feeling Wednesday's workout more than I did on Friday, and woke up with a head ache so opted out of running again plus had no one to run with so back to the gym for a repeat of my Thursday workout focusing on stretching and abs.

AND, since my back issues weren't as sever after the 5k I am really wanting to do another one next month, just have to find one now.... any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I also go for my second spinal block on Monday morning, not looking forward to that again but am looking forward to seeing what the doc has to say and how the pictures compare from the first one (wish me luck).

Happy Friday to all and here's hoping for Awesome weekends for everyone!!!

Run, Jane, Run

Didn't really do much most of the week after having the spinal block on Monday. Wednesday, I had my morning session with Steve. Needless to say I was REALLY apprehensive to do much of anything, I was just really worried about my back. Steve took it easy with me and we went slow through the stretches and the workout and it felt great to get in a workout and work up a bit of a sweat!

On Friday (My Birthday), I had my 2nd weekly session with Steve. He had me do a ton of stretching and then informed me we were going out for a short run and that he'd cancelled his 6am appointment. So off we went to this nice little 1/2 mile course, it was a little cool and the sun hadn't come up yet. We walked the course once, did some stretching and then off we went... I took it really easy and kept going over my checklist in my head: back, feels good; feet, feel good; shins, feel good ; back, still feels good; overall legs, feel strong; breathing, a little heavy need to calm down; back, still feels great. I must have repeated this checklist 20 times during the 1/2 mile run. Steve knew I was tense and nervous about running so every now and then he'd ask how i felt and then remind me to checkout the sunrise over Lake Erie. Before I knew it we were done with the 1/2 mile run and we walked the course once more. I was thrilled, everything felt great and I had done it! Yes, it's just a half mile...but it was MY half mile and I wasn't in pain, and my back felt fine! What a GREAT way to start my birthday off! Saw my chiro and told him about my little jaunt and he thought that was great and told me to just play it by ear on Sunday. Was supposed to call my pain mgmt doc to give him an update of how I felt and see if he gave me the go ahead to run on Sunday, thought about it at 8:30am (office not open yet) and then remembered again at 4:45pm (oops, a little to late).

Saturday involved lots of recovery from my birthday celebration on Friday night. As I laid in bed I thought about how a nice little run would feel great and would be a good way to get the blood flowing, but as I rolled over I felt it, my back had tightened up. Obviously not going for a run so I took it easy for the day and eventually my back felt better but there were moments throughout the day that there was the slightest twinge of something.

This morning was the day I've been waiting for, the Run, Jane, Run 5k/10k down at Edgewater Park to benefit Women's Center of Greater Cleveland. Rolled out of bed around 6:30am to try and be ready by the time my Mom showed up at 7:00am. Headed to Edgewater around 7:30am and still wasn't sure what I was going to do. Finally by 8:15am I decided I was going to run (ok, guess I really knew all along that I was going to run...not sure why I put myself through the agony of even toying with the idea of just walking the course). I ran the first mile in 10:03 and that took me to the base of the hill (obviously not a great time, but actually about my normal speed). Decided to try running as much of hill as possible since it was after the hill last time that my back gave out. I made it not quite half way, but I did turn it on strong at the base and passed about 6 folks along the way...suppose if I'd just maintained a steady pace I might have made it up the whole thing. Once to the top I ran until the water station, walked through that and walked while sipping my water before dumping the rest of it around my neck and down my back. Felt great and kept a good speed going down the hill until a side stitch kicked in and I found myself walking yet again, about this time my back knotted up a little so I stepped off to the side and stretched out for a few minutes and was given some great motivational "almost there's" by a few of the other runners so decided to get back to it! Stopped two more times to walk (argh) and then decided to just push myself through to the end since it wasn't my back causing me to stop, just overall fatigue from not having been out running for a couple of weeks. Teamed up with another gal who'd been walking some also and we both agreed we weren't fond of the finishing part that was in the grass. Asked her if she had any kick left in her, she said yes and off we went but she then decided she didn't have the sprint in her and finished off jogging in. Two other girls who were running must of heard my heavy breathing as I was sprinting and they moved off to the side a little (thanks girls!) and I sprinted my way through the gate...that felt great too! The first place 10k guy had just finished before me and was there to say thanks for all my cheering out on the course (yeah considering I saw the guy three different times during the course - LOL), he congratulated me on a strong finish which I found funny, but appreciated it all the same! Not certain of my final time I think it was around 35 or 36 minutes. My back is a little sore, but am resting it up and going to hit it with some ice. But I did it! I finished! And more importantly I remember how much I love the atmosphere of running a race -- even if I am not at the front of the pack or even the middle of the pack, I am still competing and I am still out there giving it my ALL; and there is no greater feeling than that!

Ugh...

Here's the latest...

Sunday the 3rd. With finally hitting 3 miles again, somewhat comfortably even though there was still some walking I decided to take my run outside to get used to the pavement and temperatures again. So I headed down to Edgewater Park for a nice 3 mile run to see how it'd feel to not only be outside but to attempt that awful hill that I've been seeing in my sleep. I figured I'd hit this run on Sunday the 3rd, Thursday the 7th, Sunday 10th, Thursday the 14th and then be ready for the 5k there on Sunday the 17th -- pretty good plan, right? HA. So I ran the race route and even managed to make it halfway up the hill, then finished the hill walking. Once at the top I resumed running but felt a twang in my back. Now with most of my back issues I've been able to keep up the running and then the back issues just sort of work themselves out. Not this time though, I ran about 3 minutes before I had to stop and walk and stretch out my back some. Things felt a little better so I resumed the run again but suddenly found myself alternating running and walking for about three minutes each. I finished the 5k course in under 38 minutes -- which considering my goal is to finish in under 40 wasn't so terrible after all even with all the walking. Little did I know that this slight bit of running joy would be my last for a while... As I headed home I noticed my back twang had turned into more of back spasms and by the time I got home I was unable to move my left leg to get it out of the car --- hmmm, well this can't be good can it? --- so between deep relaxing breathes and what was becoming a slow steady stream of tears I sat in my car for close to 20 minutes before I was able to get out. So into the house I went and got myself to the sofa where I pretty much stayed unable to move for close to 2 hours. Slowly the spasms calmed and I was able to crawl my way upstairs and gingerly get into a HOT shower and then onto my bed for about another half hour. Then once I started moving things felt a little better.

Monday the 4th, was grueling and between my back pains and a funeral to attend (Aunt Adele you were always the sweetest, you will be missed), I decided to not venture into work and sleep and rest and watch movies as much as possible. Went to the chiro and he took x-rays and suggested I visit a pain management specialist who specializes in spinal issues.

Tuesday the 5th, was a little less painful, actually it felt as though someone had spent a few hours kicking me in my back non-stop, I ventured into work...my usual 7 minute walk from my parking lot to the office took me almost 20 minutes! After much self-debate and encouragement from G, I called and made an appointment with the pain mgmt doc for Friday. Cancelled my personal training session for Wednesday morning.

Wednesday the 6th, was weird, after a difficult nights sleep due to my back I woke up feeling great and almost wishing I hadn't cancelled my session but figured a day's rest might be good. Went into see the chiro and get results from the x-rays. He suggested I keep my appointment for Friday and to be prepared to be told I wouldn't be able to run my 5k -- but really, my back was feeling great...ok, yes I know what makes sense but most of what I do in life doesn't make sense.

Thursday the 7th, even less back pain then Wednesday and hit the gym for a training session. We took it easy so as to not irritate or do much rotation with the spine. Then Steve and I headed out for iced coffees and a trip to a little park with a pier to watch some of the sunrise and to just talk about life... In spite of the pains and such it was a beautiful way to start a morning -- I am working on keeping positive, but let me tell you something about stopping your day and your life for a moment to watch the sun rise is an AWESOME reminder of how great it is to be alive!

Friday the 8th, made it to my doc appointment and was told that an MRI wouldn't be scheduled for right away and that a spinal block should be able to help point him in the direction of where my treatment needs to take me. So, I scheduled the spinal block for Monday the 11th.

A spinal block...I have never had this done before but let me tell you the thoughts of needles in my spine, just couldn't imagine it being much of a good time.

Saturday the 9th, another easy workout at the gym with Steve. Then off to spend the day with my Mom we hit a farmer's market and then Trader Joe's and lunch at Herb's in Rocky River then back to my house to catch some Olympics updates. Was a very nice day.

Sunday the 10th, knowing my spinal block was only a day away and the fact that my back wasn't really bothering me I so wanted to go for a run...but alas, maybe my better judgement or the haunting words from friends drifting in and out of my every thought kept me from running. Headed off to spend another day with my Mom and we headed out to Valley City for their annual Frog Jumping Event and then onto Medina for a craft even they had going on in the square and followed that up with a very nice lunch at Miss Molly's Tea Room.

Monday the 11th. Spinal Block day. For those of you who have not had the "pleasure" of going through this experience and wonder if it hurts. Yes. Yes it hurts. Ok, well actually the first two injections were just that, they felt like getting a shot with a long needle. Then came the third injection -- ouuuuuuuch. Ok, we were done with the right side, not so bad (but mind you the majority of my pain IS NOT on the right side). Onto the left side. First needle, think I may have actually yelped a little...and the conversation went something like this: the doc, "did that hurt?... me, "um, Yeah I Felt IT"...doc, "You know why that hurt?"... me, "Yes, because you just stuck a needle in my spine!"... doc, "That is where your problem is"... me quietly to myself, "NO SHIT". Second shot, not so bad. Third shot, I felt my reflexes kick into my left leg and think my entire body jolted up off the table: the doc, "did that hurt?"....me, "YES, THAT HURT". The doc's preliminary diagnosis, "arthritis and no running... me, "oh, ok I can't run the 5k on Sunday, ok well I can just walk it then"... the doc, "no more running".... me, "WHAT?, you mean never? But (long pause) what???"... the doc, "why do you want to run, it bad for knees"...me, "because I like to, it makes me feel better"... at this point both the tech and the doc stop what they are doing and just stared at me...me, "ok, well other than this current back thing it makes me feel better". At this point the doc sent me out of the room into a recovery room and I just sat there completely dazed. After a few moments he came over and asked me about running and I told him I need to run, I may not be fast or run for long but I need to run. After some hesitation on his part he told me to call him Friday and let him know how I am doing and he'll decide if I can give it a try on Sunday, but if not he will come up with a plan for me to run....eventually.

I go back in two weeks on the 25th for my 2nd set of shots and then depending on how things go, possibly a 3rd set two weeks after that.

There is so much going through my mind right now...damn a run would feel great about now, just help sort some of it out...is that somewhat ironic or what...anyhow all I can say is --- Ugh... and try to remain positive.

Trying My Hardest to Staying Positive and Motivated

It's August 1st. I mean it is August. Already?! What happened to my summer, how is it that August is here already? Wasn't it just May or June...and July how did thirty-one days get past me so quickly? Does time really go by quicker as we get older? And speaking of older, my birthday is in just two-weeks! I've had a rough time with my birthdays the last couple (2, 3, 6, 10) years but, as of today, I'm not totally freaking out about it...

So I have been working on this whole "The Secret" concept and trying to clear my thinking and focusing on happy thoughts. I've always described myself as a optimistic pessimist (lol), so the whole happy thought concept is really a lot for me to embrace and I may be reading the book for the second time in less than two weeks but I am trying really really hard to make this change in my life. I actually think this is the first time in my 40 years that I've actually embraced making a change like this. I have had a few ups and downs in the last couple of weeks, but it really is amazing how I can relate it all back to what I was focusing on.

On the running/workout front I have also had some ups and downs, but focusing on the happy thoughts I will only report on the ups...lol. Had my measurements taken on July 26th, which marks 2 months with my trainer Steve. My numbers all decreased (yeah), the pounds not quite as much as I had really hoped (actually the weight didn't go down hardly anything - 4 lbs) but I lost inches and I can notice it in my clothes and that is what I am going to focus on! My body fat is also down by another 4.75%, which is huge for me. I also got in 3 miles on Monday and Tuesday of this week (July 28th and 29th), which is Awesome, especially since my 5k is just over 2 weeks away (August 17th - yikes). Had a sore knee after my training session on Wednesday so skipped any workout on Thursday and then slept in on Friday morning and didn't make it to the gym again. BUT, tomorrow I am back on my game, I am not going to beat myself up over missing, I will just have to work my ass-off to make up for the couple of missed days. I am going to start running outside for a couple of days next week to get used to it again in preparation for the 17th.

Chiropractor update - still in love! Go see a chiropractor, it is awesome!! Am actually done with my sessions but asked the doc if we could schedule a few more appts to just check on stuff after I start running on pavement next week. My back feels GREAT.

Other miscellaneous stuff -- still working on letting go and in-line with the positive thinking and happy thoughts concept, I am working on just enjoying life and the people that have come into it and those that have come back into it as well. Still trying to figure out about second-chances....that one gets confusing to me still. Is it possible that Love lasts forever?

Long Overdue Update

Can't believe it's been two weeks since I've posted. So much and yet so little has happened in that time span...

Ok, well when last I wrote I had been having some pretty major back issues and had made an appointment with a chiropractor. Now, I have never been to one before but I've got to tell you if you have Ever thought of going have haven't yet -- WHAT are you waiting for, I'm telling you I am in love. It was/is AWESOME. I'm currently going twice a week and have had a total of five visits to date. I was pretty sore after one of the sessions but that is to be expected a little at the beginning; actually I think I felt so great after the session that I overdid it a bit and don't think that helped much. Anyhow, if you're having any back issues, what are you waiting for -- GO! And if you live on the west side of Cleveland contact me and I'll give you the name of my doctor, I'm telling you he's been a God-send! Anyhow I needed to take about a week off of running, or reduce my running...which when you're only running a mile or two reducing it by much pretty much means you're not running.

To summarize the running and working out it's been slow and only 3 weeks until the Run, Jane, Run 5k...ugh, it's going to be rough, but it's also going to be Great! I am really looking forward to being back in another 5k, even if my time is going to suck oh, and that hill at Edgewater...ok, not going to think about that right now am going to stick with the feeling of looking forward to being signed up for a 5k!! So far for the month of July I've only run 9 days, walked 1 day, had 7 personal training sessions and have skipped 7 days at the gym. Monday (7/21) is the last day I ran and I got in 2 1/4 miles with a little bit of walking intermingled in there. I've sort of set a goal in my head that if I can finish this 5k in 40 minutes I will be happy, under 40 would be awesome. (I know, I know people will be finishing the 10k in the same amount if not quicker and that is awesome for them; I am slow, I will in time get quicker, I may never get hardware but that doesn't make me any less competitive! I know you speedsters out there may not get that, but those of us at the end of the pack want it just as badly as you do!).

As for the rest of my life...it has been good, I might even dare say it's been great! I've working a lot on forgiving and letting go, second chances, letting love in and learning how to re-direct my life path. Steve (my trainer) recommended an awesome book (yes I do say 'awesome' a lot don't I?!). If anyone is looking for a great read on figuring out your place with God, the Universe or whatever you want to call it, and wonder why your life sometimes takes turns your not sure of then I'd recommend getting 'The Secret'. I know it's been out for a while and if any of you are familiar with Dr. Wayne Dyer this book is the following the same philosophy. I am already looking forward to re-reading as well as putting it into practice! If you have already read it and ever wish to discuss it, let me know!

Ok, well there's the long and the short of it all. The underlying key is that I am staying positive, the minor set-backs and the slow start with my return to running will just make me stronger in the long run!